53 Things About a 53-Second Finnish Baseball Video

With no baseball being played on this Monday night as I write this, I thought I’d throw this out for a quick fix.  Granted, this is baseball as it’s played in Finland:

 

Below is a second-by-second recap of all the glorious action.

{note – because the Stone-Age author doesn’t know how to post GIFs into an article, you’ll have to pause the video yourself to freeze the action for each of the 53 seconds}

0:01 – Dude in the white-striped uniform way off the plate, obviously trying to avoid catcher’s interference because of the dude in the orange-and-blue uniform.

0:02 – Orange-and-blue apparently spots the pitcher striding towards the pitcher’s mound, which I guess in Finnish is the “tikli”.

0:03 – There’s a “ski” on the back of the hitter’s jersey, so he must be Sami Haapakoski.  Not likely to be another Polish guy on a Finnish baseball team.

0:04 – And he’s got his hands backwards.  (I’d love to see how he holds a light bulb to screw it in)

0:05 – And now the catcher flips the ball up in the air!  A combination hidden-ball trick/quick-pitch.

0:06 – First baseman charging in…Sami charging at the offering, which can only mean…

0:07 – A line drive over the first baseman’s head.  Well played Sami!

0:08 – Sami now runs down the THIRD-BASE LINE!!!! (being half-Polish myself I have no more capacity to joke).  This means that the runner who’s already there (Jeano Segurannen) has to start running to second.

0:09 – What’s with the water hazard inside the park?  I guess with this being Finnish baseball, they’ve replaced right field with a right fjord.

0:10 – I like the greenery in right fjord.  Gives it a Wrigley-like ambiance (this is the Obligatory 2016 Cubs Reference™ for this article)

0:11 – Crowd going wild, screaming for Sami to run the bases the right way and not blow a well-earned ground-rule double.

0:12 – Or maybe it’s a ground-rule triple if it gets stuck in the poison ivy.  Not sure.

0:13 – Love the hustle on the guy in right fjord.  Plays the game the right way, he does.

0:14 – And emerging from behind a tree there’s an umpire, checking to see if the ball lodged in the poison ivy for a triple or into the water for a double….what, the ball’s IN PLAY??!?

0:15 – Yep. The right fjorder (Jonni Damonen) swiftly tosses a relay to one of his fellow outfjorders.

0:16 – Unfortunately, Ryän Raburninnen isn’t known for having the best “handle” in this sport

0:17 – Average water temperatures in Finland are colder than anywhere in the continental USA.  That’s because they’re measured in degrees Celsius.

0:18 – Look, there’s Jeano rounding the bases the right way

0:19 – Poor right fjorder takes his second plunge in the last five seconds.  Someone please fire up a sauna for ol’ Jonni.

0:20 – And there’s Sami flying like a Finn right behind him.  All this fumbling of the frigid fjord-frozen ball in right fjord has allowed them to finally move forward again.

0:21 – Nice flip by the right fjorder.  Maybe they should move him to second base, wherever the hell they put that in Finland.

0:22 – Nice use of the split screen for the fielding and baserunning portions of the play.  Might catch on for MLB telecasts if they ever tried it.

0:23 – Here comes Sami to his jubilant teammates….

0:24 – …PSYCH!!…

0:25 – …running up the third-base line without him

0:26 – The right fjorder pulls his hypothermic body up Tallinn’s Hill, his efforts having been to no avail.

0:27 – Why are they running out there with their bats?  I am so thoroughly confused.

0:28 – Led Zeppelin, the official sponsor of the third-base warning track.

0:29 – Those uniforms make these guys look like a NASCAR pit crew.  Waiting for one of them to hand Sami a champagne bottle to spray the place.

0:30 – Some guy in a blue jacket is taking a stroll in from left field, apparently oblivious to all the mayhem.

0:31 – This part of the field is also used for the Finnish Capture The Flag League.

0:32 – Finnish vodka is excellent.  Just ask the camera guy.

0:33 – Guy in blue jacket has a helmet on.  Must be from a different pit crew.

0:34 – Ebullient Finnish yelling.

0:35 – This part of the field was formerly used by the local Finnish Basketball Association team.  The team disbanded once it was discovered that someone forgot to put up an actual basket.

0:36 – The one guy with a green helmet comes towards the camera with his bat in ready position.  Must be the team’s enforcer.

0:37 – “HAYYYYY!!!”

0:38 – Another yell sounding like “BASEBALLLL!!!!”

0:39 – Coach about to give Sami a water bottle for all his efforts with the bat and on the basepaths (both clockwise and counterclockwise)

0:40 – Fun fact: one of those long Finnish words on Sami’s uni means “this space available for sale”.  I forgot exactly which one it was.

0:41 – At least Sami holds the water bottle correctly.

0:42 – How come there’s no left fjord?

0:43 – Fuzzy blue feet can only mean one thing — a mascot!  Wonder who/what they have for mascots in Finland?

0:44 – It’s the love child of these two!  Sweet!

0:45 – Not sure what that thing is over the bleachers behind home plate (home Frisbee?).  Looks vaguely aerodynamic.

0:46 – Someone obviously has a job that includes coordinating handtowels to these guys’ uniforms.  The age of specialization is not merely a North American phenomenon.

0:47 – Because Finnish baseballs are often contaminated with fjord-borne bacteria, used handtowels are the souvenir of choice.

0:48 – Eriko is like… what?

0:49 – Ignoring the two kids waving for the towel in the front, Sami fires a Hail Mary pass for the blonde in the top row.

0:50 – Notice all the parkas and heavy winter clothing on these fans.  Although the average game-time temperature in Finland is about 17°C, the temperature on this evening was only 10°C, which is just 10 degrees above the freezing point of the right fjorder’s uniform.

0:51 – Nobody bothered to man the lemonade stand in left field just past the bleachers.  Guy in the blue jacket probably just walked off with the lemons.

0:52 – Can the Finnish president override a vimpelin veto?

0:53 – Fun fact:  the official logo of Superpesis, the major league of Finnish baseball, has basically the same logo as the NBC peacock.

Thank you for watching, and have a nice day.